Sunday, May 23, 2010

SETI scientist on shortlist for Rob Zombie remake of 1968 film Mars Needs Women

Here’s my shortlist for musician, troll and horror film fan Rob Zombie’s unconfirmed remake of the 1968 Hollywood movie flop Mars Needs Women, which starred a dapper Tommy Kirk as a desperate Martian and a sexy Yvonne Craig as Dr. Marjorie Bolen, an expert on extra-terrestrial reproduction:

Dr. Marjorie Bolen:

Dr. Janice Bishop, chemist and planetary scientist, Principal Investigator for SETI Institute, expert on spectral behavior of organic Martian materials

Rebecca K. Rowe, speculative fiction author and freelance writer, member of Mars Society and National Space Society

Artist abducted by Martians:

• Any one of the Guerrilla Girls

Homecoming queen abducted by Martians:

Sheri Moon Zombie, Rob Zombie's wife

Moon Unit Zappa, Frank Zappa's daughter

Airline stewardess abducted by Martians:

• Former astronaut Lisa Nowak

• Former U.S. Air Force officer Colleen Shipman

Stripper abducted by Martians:

Patricia Kelly Elizabeth Podkayne Strickland-Garcia-Redmond

Carmen Dula


Republibot 3.0 said...

Well, even if it consists of nothing more than a naked Rob Zombie flatulating loudly and incoherently yelling "I'm Oingo Boingo!" for some reason, it's still pretty much gotta' be better than the original.

People tell me "Plan 9 From Outer Space" is the worst movie ever made. Uh-uh. Nope. Plan 9 is the worst *watchable* film. People want an example of an unwatchably bad flick? I point 'em at "Mars Needs Women."

How bad is it? About two years ago, I ended up getting rushed to the emergency room in the middle of the night, and, since it was an emergency, I sat pretty much ignored for several hours in a cold little room with a machine that went 'ping' and a TV was inexplicably showing "Women."

I *STILL* couldn't get through the whole thing

Paul said...

Agreed, Mars Needs Women is a horrible boring film. I kept waiting for something to happen, but it just ended. Considering Zombie's film-making skills, the remake will probably suck even more!